If I had the opportunity of choice.

They say if you love two people pick the second person because if you truly loved the first person, the second person wouldn't be an option. Yet In my wildest dreams- if they were both before me, confessing a major emotion (LOVE) they feel/felt towards me. Who would I choose? 1st person (chapter)- No contact [...]

Chapters past.

The scene cuts to me wet, cold, and crying in a empty bath tub. As I mentally pick apart every moment, opportunity, and regret. You were my one. One year younger than me, eight years ago, when we were still fresh adults. I’m confounded because how can I think I loved you when I have [...]

I thought

I needed him to make me believe that every sappy song was about him but didn’t work he wasn’t the one for me.

I’m invisible to Cupid.

I've waited all these years for a valentine. I suppose tomorrow won't be any different. Waitings love dies on a forever kiss.

Left alone to think.

Its just... the last two guys I cared for the most... I thought they may actually but they didn't care an ounce for me. What am I doing wrong. What is wrong with me. What is wrong with me.

Christmas Wishing

I'm an chubby 25 year old woman. No man has ever told me I'm beautiful. No man has ever looked at me longingly. No man has ever held me like I'm precious. No man has ever talked to me as more than a friend. (As far as I've known) My lack of experience has blinded [...]

Moving on is harder to do, when the one that you love moves faster than you.

When I talk about a "he or him" it's the same person that I've been holding onto for five years. I have had connections with men before him and after him but nothing ever came of it. Mostly I wonder if I'm holding on because I'm not sure of what could've been or what was. [...]

The Nothing We Had.

I'm thinking of you today. I don't know why but every once in a while I will get this longing for you. And it feels like I can't stand another minute without seeing your face. My heart aches. It has been silence for years. I have let you go, at least I think I have [...]

Chapter 2

JAN. 1, 2013 Maybe it was look in his eyes that made me fall for him; the ever changing color, the way they shone in the sunlight.  The day I noticed they were looked mostly green; one moment we were having one of our many random conversations while working and the next moment everything seemed [...]

Chapter 1

JAN. 1, 2013 I’m sure we have all lived or heard a version of this story billions of times, be it through books, movies, music, or close friends. I don’t want to sound like a broken record, but I feel as though this story of meeting and losing my first love needs to be known. [...]