“Why bother”-Eeyore

I wish I had died in 2009 So I wouldn’t have to survive All the shit I’m put through.

Hydroplane

Indistinguishable from the road she drove down, a river flowed from her eyes. All she saw were images of all the possibilities  she had missed out on by being so afraid.  There is nothing like a spine-chilling near death experience to make the minuscule mundane things that frighten you seem nanoscopic and insignificant.

Trust the universe.

I hope. Despite my many shortcomings. I could be the one. For you.

Cake

How do I end up getting a goodbye hug from your best friend and a quick spoken fast walking bye Shelby from you and you bought us cake. How do you make a big deal and buy a cake then don't even say a proper goodbye. Mixed signals all over the place. I just wanted [...]

Wine confessions and crying.

Why do you need alcohol? I actually hate drinking and the taste of alcohol but sometimes it's the therapy I need. I thought getting a new job would make me happier but I've been crying more than I have in my entire adult life so.. Big change and the loss of people I adore is [...]

Is my existence a running joke for the gods?

Are they seriously up there with popcorn watching the shit show that is my life? They're probably having a ball, like: Hey look, watch this chubby girl think for the billionth time someone could actually be single and attractive AND like her. Ha ha! Sike, they are already in a relationship. Haha! oh its so [...]

Why do you fear me?

I'm too intense. I'm too quiet. I have cold blue eyes. I'm 5'3". I'm a female. I scare grown men?!? I'm scary? Me? I get so angry sometimes the pressure in the room seems to change. I may yell rarely but I've never gotten in someone's face or physically hurt anyone. (other than my sibling) [...]

2 a.m. thoughts

I've spent a lot of energy hating myself and not doing anything about it.

Don’t

You can’t be nice to me. Don’t look at me like that and smile and flirt. My heart is fragile and I fall easily. I know that I mean nothing to you. There is a reason I’m not too friendly to you. There is a reason I won’t open up and talk. I’m attracted to [...]

Left alone to think.

Its just... the last two guys I cared for the most... I thought they may actually but they didn't care an ounce for me. What am I doing wrong. What is wrong with me. What is wrong with me.